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Reviews by Upset Relative

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The Cold Vanish: Seeking the Missing in North America's Wildlands
by Jon Billman
Billman Failed to Get Permission from the family to Publish this Book (8/24/2020)
I am a relative of Jacob Gray's and my family is incredibly upset about the publication of this book. First off, Billman did not interview or talk to any of the family and get permission to use our full names and location.

Secondly, he defamed Jacob as a person.

Jacob was not a mentally ill loner with no friends. This representation of Jacob has devastated his family and friends to no end. Jacob was a a wonderful person. He loved everyone deeply and was compassionate. He took his job at the retirement home seriously and his disappearance devastated the residence and his former boss. During the search, they constantly asked me if he was found yet and were heartbroken with the negative outcome. He spent time with each resident, joking with them and listening to their stories. When he delivered food to residents who were bedridden, he would sit at their bedside and spend an extra 10 minutes to talk with them. This was not required for his job as a dishwasher/kitchen helper. While working at the retirement home, he was also attending college. He was trying to figure out a career that would help the most people. He considered law enforcement, Rescue, and even becoming an EMT. But, he decided to major in Kinesiology and transfer to university for a career in Physical Therapy. He loved muscular function, exercise, and was completely obsessed with his health. He was one of the most disciplined people I know. To him, the health of his mind and body was the most important thing to him.

Two months before his disappearance, he started showing signs of mental illness. His family tried to help him and did everything we could, but American Systems in mental/medical health care, law enforcement, and even park protocol are not in place to help families. All of these systems caused a huge hindrance in getting Jacob help or finding Jacob. It was eye-opening for the family.

Billman grossly misrepresented Jacob, his parents, and his family. He falsified information for a story and never contacted the family for approval. He has defamed Jacob's memory and name and has caused great distress to his family.

I also want to inform you that Billman was not involved until about six months after Jacob died. By the time Billman joined, my uncle was out looking for his son's remains, but still hoped that maybe he was alive and followed a few weird leads just in case.

Billman was not part of the first searches and yet he inserts himself into our tragedy as if he was there. It was Jacob's family and friends who flew or drove out to look for him. It is offensive to see a man take advantage of a grieving father and family for his own gain.

As a relative, I am greatly devastated by what was written about Jacob. I cried after reading some of the book since it didn't reflect the love, compassion, humor, personal discipline, and protectiveness that was Jacob Gray. He was not only my cousin, but he was also my best friend growing up.

Both the publisher and Billman are making a profit off our family’s pain. We had no idea that this book was published until recently. They did not reach out to the family to alert us to the publication and get approval nor did they fact-check with those part of Jacob’s life. This is completely wrong. All profits should go to supporting Search & Rescue and improving national park protocols. We want to see improvement in search protocols for those who go missing in national parks.
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