First, let me say I loved this book, however it may not be for everyone. I'm not a science geek but I do find it fascinating to learn about the deeper interaction of such emotion-driven behaviors as love on our brain and bodies. That being said, I learned a lot about the
…more author's exploration of human loneliness and found it particularly relevant in the era of COVID 19.
Williams sets the tone for each chapter with a quotation, and ultimately when strung together allows us to follow her personal journey to understand the loneliness of her heartbreak from an unexpected divorce. The author specifies her purpose for exploring this topic right up front: "Our bodies want to feel safe and to feel loved. What happens to us when we lose that attachment is the central theme of the book." She follows this with an opening quotation by Marilynne Robinson's from the book of Gilead in chapter two that brings the reader closer to her intent: entitled "The Heart: It is a strange thing to feel wellness and grief in the same organ. There is no telling one from the other."
I was intrigued immediately when Williams wondered if an anti-loneliness drug, beyond the current serotonin uptake pills, could be created by studying the science of brain circuitry. I pondered this possibility and its potential impact on human interaction. Could this be life changing for the human race? Despite Williams' acknowledgment of the fact that most of us can't personally study our own bodies in the context of actual scientific methods, I was happy to hear her say that all is not lost for the average person, because we can learn to read our moods to achieve some understanding of the correlation between the brain and emotions. This kept me reading, and maybe questioning if this could be true for me.
It never occurred to me that there are any, let alone very few scientific studies on this subject that Williams was keen on learning about to concretely explain her personal heartbreak. Who knew that there was even research studying the "cellular fingerprints of heartache." This was a wow for me. While the author is not a scientist she wanted to go beyond her journey of talk therapy to see if there was more she could do to help herself cope with the devastating impact of her divorce on her daily emotional functioning. Even though I am not personally (thankfully) currently experiencing this degree of pain, I was captivated by her seemingly desperate need to "fix" herself.
Williams dug deep, subjecting herself to multiple lab studies of her blood, personality tests and traveling the world meeting with experts, both social behaviorists and scientific minds. I went along for the ride which was fascinating. At the end of her book she said "I'd been undertaking the rituals all along, albeit ones largely rooted in science, but resolution of the impact of loneliness is still not easy, even knowing science."
But I thought it was okay for me not to come away with a concrete "solution" to the human emotion of loneliness and still love the book. But back to the pill…a reality?
As if Williams' premise was being validated, I just saw that a new book was published in 2021, "Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness: The History of Loneliness".
Who knew… (less)
