Bulwer Lytton, where are you when we need something interesting to read? Having marched ever so slowly through the deep sands of boredom, I have arrived at the two-thirds mark of this plodding story. I'm not sure I can go on. Someone please, tell me the last third is better …more than what precedes it.

I love books of all types; history, fiction, mystery, you name it. We have a house full of books because I can't bear to part with them. That said, were it not for the fact that I paid $20 for The Egyptologist (tax and shipping included, give or take a few coins), I would have chucked it.

Don't get me wrong; it has a beautiful cover. It looks great sitting on the coffee table. It also came equipped with a number of glowing reviews. Did someone slip the wrong text inside the right cover?

People write about Phillips' humor. I think he's laughing all the way to the bank. That's the only possible humor I've found thus far. They write about the mystery of this story. The mystery is in how it got so many good reviews.

So far -- and I admit I haven't fought my way to the bitter end yet -- the characters are predictable and not particularly interesting ... or likeable. The best writers can take mundane subjects and make them interesting. The rest take interesting subjects and make them mundane. Guess where I fall on this one.

I've never felt compelled to write a review before, but there is such a disconnect between the reviews I read before buying this book and the actual reading that my evil side got the better of me.

The only other time I've felt this strongly about a bad book is after reading a forgettable Joseph Heller novel in which he proved that only Kurt Vonnegut should try to do Kurt Vonnegut. I was going to send that book to Heller and demand my money back, but, alas, he had already left this earth. I'd tell you the title, but, as noted above, it was forgettable and, thus, forgotten.

Mr. Phillips, I apologize for coming down hard on the Egyptologist. I’m sure you meant well. If you'd like to refund the $20, however, please feel free to track me down through Amazon. (less)