What readers think of The Sound of Gravel, plus links to write your own review.

This beautifully written memoir by a woman born into a polygamist Mormon cult is touching, tragic, and ultimately triumphant. Ruth describes her life, beginning at age 5, when she lives in abject poverty in Mexico as a member of a small rural town founded as a fundamentalist Mormon colony, where the purpose of life is to have as many wives and children as possible. Women are considered to be nothing more than baby-making machines, and children are valued by quantity, rather than as individuals. As a consequence, Ruth and her many siblings, including three born with severe mental retardation, are cared for by a loving but ignorant mother who relies on welfare checks from the U.S. government to supplement the meager resources provided by her abusive husband. In spite of living in a mouse-infested shack with no running water, no electricity, and very little food, the children love their mother and each other and are often happy with the little they have.

As I read this amazing story, I realized that Ruth and her brothers and sisters were born at about the same time as my three children. What a difference between our comfortable middle-class home and the life Ruth lived! My heart ached for the deprivations the children in this family suffered and the hazards all around them. No child should have to live like this! Worst of all was the perverted religion that dictated how they should live and that this life style was somehow holy.

After many terrible events and tragedies in her life, Ruth realizes that the life she was born into is evil and based on lies. She is finally able to escape with some of her siblings and make a new life for them in the United States. It is truly wonderful to read how she triumphed over such overwhelming odds to become a teacher and a writer. Her determination to take care of what remained of her family is amazing and inspiring!

Well written, stark description of the author's life growing up in a polygamy community. I did have to put it down for a few days in the middle of the book as it was indeed disturbing and very sad to think children can be raised this way. The author had done enough foreshadowing that I was distressed thinking about what was likely to happen. I expect I will be thinking about this book for a long time. A few quibbles: the book title doesn't fit for me. It reminds me of Lucinda Williams' song "Car Wheels on a gravel road" with the same sort of feeling, but the author mostly describes the sound of boot steps on the floor as being ominous for her, at least that's what I remember. And I was surprised that Matt (spoiler alert!) told his wife there would be a 50/50 chance of him taking a second wife...I would have liked to known more about what he was thinking, and I don't think his character as written led me to think that was even an option he would think about. All in all, a tremendous and brave book.

Sad, almost unbelievable true story of a girl raised in a polygamist community in northern Mexico.
Everything is done in the name of God!
"Ruthie", the storyteller, of this memoir, lives for most of her young years in a hovel without running water or electricity and not even a lock on the door.
She becomes a second mother to her always increasing brothers and sisters, some of whom have severe disabilities. How she survives her abusive stepfather and harsh life is her story. And it is a compelling one. Found it hard to put the book down.
Should appeal to just about everyone.
So glad there is an epilogue to the story!

If it's true that "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger," the kids in this family must be a mix between Superman and the Hulk.
Without an adult in their lives who was able to protect them, they were forced to take on that role for themselves and one another.
The resilience of the author in particular amazes me!
I highly recommend this book but only if you're prepared to disappear for a while. I didn't want to go to work, sleep, church or anywhere else until the book was finished.
Kudos to the author for a life well-lived, and a book well-written.

Truth is stranger than fiction in the story of Ruth Wariner. You can't help but be caught up in this very emotional account of the life of a young girl growing up as part of a polygamist doomsday cult. The ups and downs of the life of Ruth, her mother and siblings will bring you to both tears and anger.

This lifestyle has been written about in numerous memoirs but told through the innocent eyes of young Ruthie as she begins to become aware of how limiting the lifestyle is and how trapped she finds herself, is a fresh look at the despair of this type of mind control and its effects on a family of innocents. Not only does Ruth face the strong effects of this strange faith but has to endure domestic and sexual abuse as well as dealing with the handicaps of several siblings. She is forced to grow up way too soon and yet finds a way out to become a successful woman and writer.

I highly recommend this poignant and well written account that provides one with an eye opening look at how a good mother can fall prey to this type of mind control disguised as a religious faith and endanger her entire family's health and well-being.

I have always been fascinated by the polygamist lifestyle and found this to be an interesting but infuriating. Why would a religious community let a pedophile continue to abuse children? How does a religious community condone plural marriages and the creation of large families that can't support themselves? How does a religious community justify lying to receive public assistance?
This is a well-written story of resilience. The author shows us a life that was filled with many challenges but not devoid of love and happiness at times.

This book is obviously autobiographical to some point. The main character is a very likable girl who has to deal with a family that is heavily entrenched in polygamy. The writing is clear and concise, not concerned too much with description or flowery language.
Some things I learned: Polygamy is considered by its adherents to be a religious obligation and has very strict rules, all of which benefit male members of the community.
Girls are not encouraged to be educated and are encouraged to be subservient to males. Men frequently sexually abuse their step daughters without consequence. The poverty that exists due to the enormous number of wives and children produces families who live on welfare and pay no taxes.
The book gives much anecdotal information about what its like to grow up in a polygamist culture and how destructive it is to children and women.

This book tells the story of Ruth, a young girl growing up in a polygamist Mormon community in Mexico near the US border. Ruth and her siblings are all technically American citizens, so even though they live in Mexico, their mother (Kathy) still collects welfare and food stamps from the US. This book is about Ruth's childhood and also about her family. Ruth bares all in this book and readers should be warned, there are descriptions of multiple unfortunate deaths/funerals and also child abuse. After seeing a few episodes of that show Sister Wives on TLC I will admit I have a weird interest in hearing stories of people who have lived or grew up in the polygamist lifestyle. The idea of it is just so foreign to me that I can't understand how a marriage can be shared between more than two people, the logistics of it and how it can survive the tests of time. So when I saw this book available on BookBrowse I was immediately interested.

While growing up, Ruth and her family move around a lot over the years. At one point her mother leaves her step-father (after an incident with him buying a shower head for wife #1 with Ruth's mother's money) and they go to the US to live with Kathy's parents for awhile. They don't ever end up in one place for very long, though they are forced to live in El Paso, TX for about 2 years when DCF gets involved after the kids are left alone for almost a week (the oldest child at that time was 12 and the youngest was 1 or 2 if I remember correctly). I thought Ruth did just such a fantastic job describing the different locations where she spent time growing up. The imagery seems so real in the book that the reader feels like they are standing right beside Ruth seeing it with her. The events and timeline in this book are well-laid out and very detailed. I felt like I really got to hear about Ruth's story and all the details of her childhood growing up.

Overall I really liked this book, it was moving and heart-breaking and a beautiful story about a woman's traumatic childhood but also about how she overcame that childhood to become the person she is today. At 19 she was taking care of all of her younger siblings, trying to support them while also getting her GED and then going to college. Honestly as heart-breaking as her childhood was, I thought this book was inspirational. To think that someone can live through so much heartbreak and still come out not only surviving but thriving, really it is a feat to be admired. Also at this time of year especially when we are giving thanks for the things in our lives we are most grateful for, this book is a great reminder that I should be grateful for the childhood I had and for the two loving, caring parents that God gave me. I think the story was well written and poignant, and I have so much respect for Ruth not only for what she went through but also for having the courage to share her story with the world.