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This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is

by Laurie Frankel
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  • First Published:
  • Jan 24, 2017, 336 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Jan 2018, 352 pages
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There are currently 3 reader reviews for This Is How It Always Is
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Cathryn Conroy

Oh, This Is SO Good! It's Almost a Perfect Book. Bonus: You'll Be a Better Person for Reading It
This book grabbed my heart on page one and never let go. Exquisitely written by Laurie Frankel with aplomb, humor, and a rare insightful emotional intelligence, this is a book about a subject that is so difficult—and to some so disgusting—it's easier to ignore it or, worse, ridicule it.

Rosie and Penn—she's an emergency room physician and he's a would-be novelist and stay-at-home dad—have five children. All boys. Loud, messy, smelly, chaotic, lovable boys. The youngest is Claude, who is precocious and adorable. And when Claude grows up, he says he wants to be a girl. By the time he gets to kindergarten, he is wearing dresses. He soon changes his name and to all outward appearances becomes a girl. This is a secret the family holds close. But secrets are hard to keep, and when this one is revealed, the love of this family is fully tested.

This is a book about how to parent, how to love, and how to let your child be whom he wants to be—even if it breaks your heart.

Multiple research studies have shown that reading novels makes you more empathetic. This book should be Exhibit A for that theory. Most of us have no experience (our own or that of our friends) of a little child desperately wanting to be a different gender. But it happens. And this book will gently bring you into that world so when you finish the last sentence, you will have a new understanding…a new compassion…a new empathy. You will be a better human being for it. That is the power of reading.

More than anything, this is just a really, really good book. You will not want to stop reading, but also you won't want it to end. There is so much wisdom and insight that it will take your breath away, so much wit that you will laugh out loud, and so much heartbreak that you will cry real tears. This is almost a perfect book.
Amy

This is How It Always Is.
I felt emotional throughout this entire book. I am pleased that Reese’s Book club chose this novel. It was a beautifully written, heartbreaking yet inspiring account of having a trans child. Luckily in my state, in the recent mid term election, the candidate that will be our new Governor will not discriminate against individuals such as Poppy. I am proud of Kansas at this time. Novels such as these are vastly important. I look forward to discussing this with my book club this weekend. It will be a growing and learning occasion for all. I am very thankful to have read Laurie Frankel’s work.
Linda Zagon

Family Love
WOW!! Kudos to Laurie Frankel, author or "This is How it Always Is". The genre of this book is Fiction, but in the author's notes she courageously writes that the motivation comes from her living with a family member with the same issues.

Rosie and Penn have five children. Rosie is a Physician and Penn is a writer, and tells the children made up fairy tales. The baby of the family Claude is different. Claude loves to wear dresses, play with dolls, wears jewelry, Barrettes in his hair,and approaches life differently than his brothers.Claude is happiest when can do this.Rosie and Penn want to see their children happy. Claude draws himself with long hair and dresses.At first his parents feel that all children go through phases.

This is a controversial topic that ?is spoken about currently, but I feel that many of these issues just have always existed but never were addressed as openly. Children(and adults) can be devastatingly cruel, be bullies, and do not accept whatever the "norm" should be. It is not often that we speak of transgender children, sometimes as young as three.

Laurie Frankel gives me much to think about. Should answers be black and white, yes or no? Does a person have to make up their mind if they feel they are a girl/boy? Is it so simple? Should society force families to keep a "secret" if their feelings don't conform to what is supposedly expected?

I love the way that Laurie Frankel writes about family, love, support and acceptance I also feel that the hardest job in life is to be a parent. Of course, we want to see our children happy, but can we admit that we have certain expectations that might be or not be in our children's best interest?

I highly recommend this intriguing novel. It is so very different and unique, and Laurie Frankel's descriptions are amazing!
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