Page 1 of 1
There is 1 reader review for Everything We Never Had
Write your own review!
Anthony Conty
Life As a Filipino Male
Even with history books and attempts to learn about cultures, some fall through the cracks. "Everything We Never Had" by Randy Ribay shows the Filipino struggle through three generations, and we know about their unique challenges. Since the novel deals with different generations of the same family, the reader learns much about why subsequent offspring are who and how they are.
A common ultra-conservative argument is that we need to stop making things about race. Fine. Fair, but reading about immigrants who came here to make a better life for themselves will make you think about your ancestors, even if that makes you prouder of America. Some of my relatives have the same frustrating relationship with their elders. They admire them while still annoyed with their stodgy ways.
The four generations have a unique mix of pride and disgust for their heritage. I have had conversations with Cuban-Americans that had the same tone. If we recognize immigrants' struggles in the 1920s, we better understand the attitudes that descend from that frustration and uncertainty. I was rooting for the men to find a way to communicate.
The book's goal is optimistic, so I wondered how many situations like this were successful. Some of us embrace our inability to talk as a masculine quirk. This discord gives the author a challenging task: can the characters come to a resolution without tying up the strands too neatly? You know what I mean if you have ever tried to enact change in a relative over 70.
So, what have we learned? Listen. Family history has much to tell us, and elders do not always recognize which details are worth sharing. Almost every male has had this conflict with his father since previous men did not speak to their sons. Most are learning how now.