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Cindy J. (Hastings, NY)
Rise How a House Built a Family
Inspiring yet not completely believable. This story of a single mom and her 4 children evading harm from abusive ex-husbands and succeeding in building their own home is inspiring. However, I found it hard to believe that they were able to accomplish some of the feats involved in building a house on their own. I think the point of the book is overcoming obstacles and no longer being afraid including afraid of failure.
Eileen F. (Green Valley, AZ)
Overwhelming
Cara's book was overwhelming to me. Her story was probably well narrated. Hopefully, it gave her comfort to write it, and others in the same situation to read her narrative. It would be hard for me to recommend this book to someone because of all the emotion involved in reading it. It gave me a good insight into how abuse affects the whole family.
Ruthie A. (New York, NY)
Conflicted...
Cara Brookins grew up in poverty, had some brutal experiences in school (bullying directed at both herself and her brother) and went on to marry 3 times, twice to men who for very different reasons, abused her. Once free of these men she took stock of her situation, saw how shell-shocked her children were, assessed her finances and decided to build her own "Dream Home" with the help of YouTube and her kids!
The book alternates chapters from the past and the near past -the build. We get glimpses of her life with her abusers, and descriptions of how she was inspired to build her own home, and then, the actual
…more building of the house. Along the way we meet her wonderful parents and watch her children change from frightened victims to strong, resilient individuals.
For me the chapters that dealt with the abuse were the most effective. She does a great job conveying the fear and hopelessness she felt. She tries to explain why she "stayed" with her abusers, and how she attempted to protect her children from the abuse, if not the damage of what they witnessed. Others can judge her choices, but not unless they have walked in her shoes.
The chapters that deal with the building of the house start well, with the source of her inspiration for the house. After that I found myself frustrated/bored by the details. She was in over her head. This caused her to waste so much time and money, not to mention incur serious injury, and still she did not seem to learn her lesson. On the other hand, the amount of actual work they completed, guided by YouTube videos, is impressive.
There are descriptions of how Brookins used a personal form of meditation to calm herself, and although I found her "visions" odd, but if they helped her survive and move forward then good for her! I would have loved some pictures but understand how she would want to guard her privacy. There were also times when she was so clear on details I could only assume she had been keeping a journal. Many details were unnecessary.
All in all this was an interesting read. I found some portions dragged and felt that Brookins left out a great deal of info, her choice, but it made my sense of her experience feel incomplete. (less)I was looking forward to reading this book. I was expecting an inspiring story about a family building a house. However after reading the book I didn't like it at all. The sections about Cara and her children building their house were interesting and inspirational. The sections about the abuse were graphic and disturbing. It made the book unpleasant for me to read. I wouldn't recommend this book for a book club. It might be a good book for an abuse survivors support group to read.
Jan Z. (Jefferson, SD)
Rise: How a House Built a Family by Cara Brookins
Cara Brookins's debut memoir "Rise: How a House Built a Family" was at best interesting and heart warming, and at worst rather disjointed and a bit muddled sometimes. She's a good writer! - this story about how she, along with three of her children (she has four kids, but the youngest was too young to participate, other than to add some comic relief now and then) undertook building a home was coupled with another equally interesting story about the family recovering from a relationship involving domestic violence and severe mental illness.
Her writing style is warm, intimate and plain spoken so it drew me in
…more like a good conversation. The two-part story kept me interested, whereas I think either story told by itself might not have been so engaging.
I liked how she wrote lovingly and respectfully about all her children, and also about her own parents even though her own childhood hadn't been all idyllic.
I wished she would have tied up what I feel were some loose ends. She didn't go into the end of her third marriage to Matt yet her second chapter told of a harrowing episode of domestic violence in that marriage. And there were also several construction issues that weren't resolved for me as the reader. The imagined Benjamin and Caroline characters were rather odd. These are minor complaints though, I overall enjoyed reading this book and will read the novel she talked about working on if she ever publishes it. (less)Overcoming hardship is inspiring on its own, but reading Brookins' story of her family not only enduring harrowing abuse and stalking but truly rising above it to become stronger as individuals and as a family is awe-inspiring. As a mother, it is mind-blowing to think of having four children under 18 on a building site, let alone having three of them assisting in building a house (with no prior experience) while keeping a toddler safe and worrying about being stalked by a mentally ill ex. Brookins is truly an inspiration and brave to share her story so openly and honestly.
The chapters of Brookins' book alternate
…more between Rise (building the house together) and Fall (flashbacks to episodes of abuse and trauma at the hands of her ex-husbands). The Fall chapters detract from the flow of the book and can be confusing as they are not written in chronological order with each other. Also, while this method of alternating between flashbacks and present tense is common and often successful, it doesn't entirely work in this memoir given the sharp contrast in tone between her stories. The final chapter (an epilogue of sorts) feels a bit rushed with some of the resolutions to their issues seeming abruptly explained. Still, this is a worthwhile and thought-provoking read that sheds light into the intensity and pervasiveness of abuse on victims' lives. (less)
Portia A. (Monroe Township, NJ)
At what cost
I had a hard time with this story. Here is a woman who made some really bad choices, and survived.She and her children were fearful of two of her ex husbands, with good cause, but she and they built a house although the children were just that-children.
Do I admire what she did? Not really. Yes, the work in building the house was immense, but being a good mother and raising good children could have been accomplished without the hammer, nails and exhaustion.
Tom McCormack
an insult to tradespeople
I have heard many stories of people who "built their own homes" and usually they did very little of the work themselves. Brookins tells us very little about the actual building of her home, in fact as a tradesman, I was insulted by her implying that her family did the lion's share of the work . I thought her writing style was forced and disjointed.
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