Book Club Discussion Questions
Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
- Consider the book's title and subtitle. How have specters and living
beings served as windows for one another throughout Jenny's life? Growing
up, what did she see as she looked at herself?
- What solidarity does Jenny find with the spirits that populated the
Coffin House? How have her relationships with the ghosts changed, and in
what new ways does the present day Jenny describe being haunted?
- What did Jenny's relatives and their friends teach her about gender
roles? How did their particular outlook on life affect her choices? How did
their tone affect her written voice? Could you hear echoes of any of the
people she describes in Jenny's own words?
- Discuss the Coffin House itself. What were your first impressions of the
house? How did the transformations in the décor reflect the family's
evolution? In what ways is the house a fitting home for the Boylan family?
- What was the effect of the book's narrative structure? How did it impact
your reading experience to see echoes of the past in the present and vice
versa? What do you think was the author's intention in doing this?
- Do you agree with Grace's statement that, "If you want to make any sense
of this world, you have to live in the gray"? (p. 124) Is this a philosophy
that appeals to you? Why do you think that so many of us are uncomfortable
in the gray?
- What makes Grace different from the other women who have been a part of
the author's life thus far? Can you pinpoint what you see as the key to the
endurance of their relationship? What does Jenny convey in her descriptions
of Grace that lead you to this conclusion?
- How do the musical references in I'm Looking Through You form a
soundtrack for the narrative? What role does music play in the author's
life, and how do you see this portrayed in the book?
- How do you think you would have reacted to the ghosts Jenny meets? Have
you experienced contact with the dead? If so, how did the memories of your
own encounters impact your reading experience? If not, did Jenny's stories
in this book have any effect on your beliefs about the spirit world?
- Consider the parent-child relationships in I'm Looking Through You. What
do you make of the author's relationship with her parents? What aspects of
Jenny's own personality are reflections of her parents, as she describes
them? How is the way Jenny relates to her sons similar to or different from
the relationship she had with her parents?
- One of the most painful experiences Jenny discusses is her estrangement
from her sister. Why do you think Lydia's reaction to Jenny's transition is
so different from her mother's? From the descriptions of the siblings in
happier times, would you have anticipated this reaction? What, if anything,
do you think it would take for the two of them to reconcile?
- In "Reunion," Doober says it would be excellent to "find your kid self"
and force a conversation with that shadow of your past, and Jenny asks him
if he would warn himself about the future. Given the opportunity, what would
you say to your younger self?
- Discuss Jenny's musing that "houses don't have ghosts. people do." How
do you see this manifested in I'm Looking Through You?
- The "ghosts" of many relatives populate the memoir's closing scenes,
including those of Jenny's father and sister. Are there significant people
who are absent from your life? What traces did they leave behind?
- Consider the theme of secrets in I'm Looking Through You. What factors
determine who Jenny reveals her ghostly encounters to? What about the secret
of her true female identity? Why do some believe easily, while others remain
unconvinced? What determines a person's reaction to surprising news? And how
can we know when it is time to reveal our secrets?
- Are you familiar with Jenny Boylan's first memoir? If so, how do you see
the two books as companion volumes? What does I'm Looking Through You add to
the story you read in She's Not There and vice versa? How do they complement
each other, and how do they differ?
Reproduced with permission of Broadway Books. Page numbers refer to the
USA hardcover edition and may vary in other editions.
Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Broadway Books.
Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.
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