Book Club Discussion Questions for Spinster by Kate Bolick

Summary |  Excerpt |  Reading Guide |  Discuss |  Reviews |  Beyond the Book |  Read-Alikes |  Genres & Themes |  Author Bio

Spinster by Kate Bolick

Spinster

Making a Life of One's Own

by Kate Bolick
  • BookBrowse Review:
  • Critics' Consensus (8):
  • Readers' Rating (1):
  • First Published:
  • Apr 21, 2015, 336 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Apr 2016, 336 pages
  • Rate this book

About this Book

Book Club Discussion Questions

Print PDF

In a book club? Subscribe to our Book Club Newsletter and get our best book club books of 2025!



For supplemental discussion material see our Beyond the Book article, Edna St. Vincent Millay and our BookBrowse Review of Spinster.


Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!

  1. Spinster opens with the following statement: "Whom to marry, and when will it happen—these two questions define every woman's existence." Do you find this to be true in your own life? If so, how have you navigated these expectations?

  2. On the pressure to marry, Bolick believes, "Men have their own problems; this isn't one of them." Do you agree? Why or why not?

  3. Edith Wharton coined the term awakeners, "to describe the books and thinkers who'd guided her intellectual studies." One of Bolick's goals is to inspire women and men to find their own awakeners. In your own life, who would your awakeners be?

  4. Bolick writes, "The single woman has always been stigmatized as a lonely old spinster with too many cats." What makes a woman single? Is it a matter of marital status? Of habits or state of mind?

  5. The term spinster has a divisive history. What does the word mean to you? Has this changed since reading the book? When you imagine a spinster, what does she look like, and would you ever describe yourself as one?

  6. How does spinsterhood compare to bachelordom? Does society celebrate the single man?

  7. In her relationship with W, Kate senses the "friction between the intimacy we shared and the autonomy required to become the people we wanted to be." Do you think individuals can grow to reach their full potential while in a relationship? Is romantic solitude necessary for personal growth?

  8. After her mother's death, Bolick takes inspiration from her mother's late-in-life desire to forge an independent path for herself. How do you think our parents' aspirations and choices define the decisions we make? Does this change as we age?

  9. Bolick's relationship with R creates a crossroad in her life. Have you ever had to make a similar choice? If you were in this position, what would you do?

  10. Bolick writes, "It never ceases to astonish me how readily we presume to know ourselves, when in fact we know so little." What can we do to better know ourselves? How do you stay in touch with your inner self?

  11. What is your relationship status (single, coupled, living together, married, etc.)? How does Bolick's experience square with your own?

  12. Bolick describes the "spinster wish" as "the extravagant pleasures of simply being alone." Are there solitary activities that you love? Are they necessary to your happiness?

  13. Consider Bolick's five awakeners: essayist Maeve Brennan, columnist Neith Boyce, social visionary Charlotte Perkins Gilman, poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, and novelist Edith Wharton. Which of these women inspired you most and why?

  14. Of all of Bolick's awakeners, Maeve Brennan's story ends perhaps the most tragically. Yet, Maeve's ability to express herself endures in spite of her circumstances. What did you learn from her? Do you consider her story a warning or rather an example of a unique and full life?

  15. Each of Bolick's awakeners marry at some point in their lives, yet Bolick maintains that they are spinsters. Ultimately, what do you think makes someone a spinster?

The questions above are taken from the full reading guide produced by Crown Publishers. which has a lot of fun, added value material that is worth checking out.

Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Broadway Books. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $60 for 12 months or $20 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Beyond the Book:
  Edna St. Vincent Millay

BookBrowse Book Club

Book Jacket
Broken Country (Reese's Book Club)
by Clare Leslie Hall
A love triangle reveals deadly secrets in this thriller for fans of The Paper Palace and Where the Crawdads Sing.

Members Recommend

  • Book Jacket

    Angelica
    by Molly Beer

    A women-centric view of revolution through the life of Angelica Schuyler Church, Alexander Hamilton's influential sister-in-law.

  • Book Jacket

    The World's Greatest Detective and Her Just Okay Assistant
    by Liza Tully

    A great detective's young assistant yearns for glory, but first they have learn to get along in this delightful feel good mystery.

  • Book Jacket

    The Whyte Python World Tour
    by Travis Kennedy

    Rikki Thunder, drummer for '80s metal band Whyte Python, is on the verge of fame, love—and a spy mission he didn’t expect.

  • Book Jacket

    The Original
    by Nell Stevens

    In a grand English country house in 1899, an aspiring art forger must unravel whether the man claiming to be her long-lost cousin is an impostor.

Who Said...

Happiness belongs to the self sufficient

Click Here to find out who said this, as well as discovering other famous literary quotes!

Wordplay

Solve this clue:

E H L the B

and be entered to win..

Your guide toexceptional          books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends the best in contemporary fiction and nonfiction—books that not only engage and entertain but also deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.