Sign up for our newsletters to receive our Best of 2024 ezine!

Summary and Reviews of This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is

by Laurie Frankel
  • BookBrowse Review:
  • Critics' Consensus (5):
  • Readers' Rating (3):
  • First Published:
  • Jan 24, 2017, 336 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Jan 2018, 352 pages
  • Rate this book

About This Book

Book Summary

This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them. This is how a family lives happily ever after…until happily ever after becomes complicated. This is how children change…and then change the world.

When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect.

But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever.

Excerpt
This Is How It Always Is

Once Upon a Time, Claude Was Born


But first, Roo was born. Roosevelt Walsh-Adams. They had decided to hyphenate because—and in spite—of all the usual reasons but mostly so their firstborn could have his grandfather's name without sounding too presidential, which seemed to his parents like a lot of pressure for a six-pound, two-ounce, brand-new tiny human. First Roo was born, all pink and sticky and loud and miraculous. Then Ben was born. Then they debated and deliberated and decided just one more and therefore got twins—Rigel and Orion—who were no doubt going to voice hostility about their names when they became older than four, especially when Rigel found out he was named after the constellation's toe, but who for the moment were too little and too loud to care. The leap from two to four felt astronomical, so their parents had turned to the heavens.

All of which was why, despite being a woman of considerable science, a ...

Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
  1. How do the epigraphs help prepare the reader for the many crossroads the Walsh- Adams family will have to face? What about the first word of the novel, "but"?
  2. When Rosie and Penn first go to see Mr. Tongo about Claude, he asks them to divide behaviors into "boy" and "girl" columns. Do you think their conclusions are accurate? Are they fair? Discuss what you think it means to be a man, a woman, or "something else."
  3. In what ways does the book tackle typical definitions of boys and girls, men and women? Did it change your view of gender and identity as you read?
  4. When Rosie first takes Poppy on playdates with other girls, the moms begin telling her how brave she is. "Rosie appreciated the support but wasn't sure ...
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!
  • award image

Reviews

BookBrowse Review

BookBrowse

Certainly this is an issue-driven novel. The author, Laurie Frankel, is the parent of a transgender child. As her fictional creation Rosie makes clear, "this is a medical issue, but mostly it's a cultural issue. It's a social issue and an emotional issue and a family dynamic issue and a community issue." For all the sensitive and difficult nature of the subject, Frankel has written a novel that is above all endearing and at times witty...continued

Full Review Members Only (573 words)

(Reviewed by Kate Braithwaite).

Media Reviews

Booklist
Starred Review. LaCour paints a captivating depiction of loss, bewilderment, and emotional paralysis ... raw and beautiful.

Kirkus Reviews
Starred Review. An elegantly crafted paean to the cleansing power of truth.

Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. A moving portrait of a girl struggling to rebound after everything she's known has been thrown into disarray.

School Library Journal
Starred Review. Beautifully crafted ... A quietly moving, potent novel.

Reader Reviews

Cathryn Conroy

Oh, This Is SO Good! It's Almost a Perfect Book. Bonus: You'll Be a Better Person for Reading It
This book grabbed my heart on page one and never let go. Exquisitely written by Laurie Frankel with aplomb, humor, and a rare insightful emotional intelligence, this is a book about a subject that is so difficult—and to some so disgusting—it's easier...   Read More
Amy

This is How It Always Is.
I felt emotional throughout this entire book. I am pleased that Reese’s Book club chose this novel. It was a beautifully written, heartbreaking yet inspiring account of having a trans child. Luckily in my state, in the recent mid term election, the ...   Read More
Linda Zagon

Family Love
WOW!! Kudos to Laurie Frankel, author or "This is How it Always Is". The genre of this book is Fiction, but in the author's notes she courageously writes that the motivation comes from her living with a family member with the same issues....   Read More

Write your own review!

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Beyond the Book



The Bathroom Bills

The joys and perils of raising a transgender child are beautifully brought to life in Laurie Frankel's This is How it Always Is. The question of where Poppy should go the bathroom when at school is a sensitive issue.

In the United States, since 2013, more than 24 state legislatures have proposed so-called "Bathroom Bills" with the express aim of restricting access to public bathrooms and locker rooms on the basis of the sex assigned to each individual at birth. As of January 2017 only one state, North Carolina, has passed such legislation into law. Public reaction was vocal and distaste for the new ruling brought about boycotts: the National Basketball Association and the NCAA moved sporting events out of the state. But despite ...

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Read-Alikes

Read-Alikes Full readalike results are for members only

If you liked This Is How It Always Is, try these:

We have 7 read-alikes for This Is How It Always Is, but non-members are limited to two results. To see the complete list of this book's read-alikes, you need to be a member.
More books by Laurie Frankel
Search read-alikes
How we choose read-alikes
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Top Picks

  • Book Jacket: Daughters of Shandong
    Daughters of Shandong
    by Eve J. Chung
    Daughters of Shandong is the debut novel of Eve J. Chung, a human rights lawyer living in New York. ...
  • Book Jacket: The Women
    The Women
    by Kristin Hannah
    Kristin Hannah's latest historical epic, The Women, is a story of how a war shaped a generation ...
  • Book Jacket: The Wide Wide Sea
    The Wide Wide Sea
    by Hampton Sides
    By 1775, 48-year-old Captain James Cook had completed two highly successful voyages of discovery and...
  • Book Jacket: My Friends
    My Friends
    by Hisham Matar
    The title of Hisham Matar's My Friends takes on affectionate but mournful tones as its story unfolds...

BookBrowse Book Club

Book Jacket
In Our Midst
by Nancy Jensen
In Our Midst follows a German immigrant family’s fight for freedom after their internment post–Pearl Harbor.
Who Said...

The most successful people are those who are good at plan B

Click Here to find out who said this, as well as discovering other famous literary quotes!

Wordplay

Big Holiday Wordplay 2024

Enter Now