She did her best, it was a self-imposed duty, and she could have just focused on her own survival but did not. She protected them and gave them hope and sanctuary and a transition into a new life. Admirable, especially when it took courage and a willingness for material sacrifice. But she wasn't a true friend, because she could not accept their full humanity or her own (at least, not until near the end of her life). She couldn't forgive Benita for seeking love with a former Nazi, nor Ania for having been married to one. She expected others would conform to her own judgment, without examining her history of privilege or her own experience of unrequited love, looking more closely into her own motivations and reactions. She assumed her way was always the moral high ground and that she knew what was best for others. "Noblesse oblige" isn't the same as giving without strings attached.