When musing about her fiancé's faults, Irma thinks "Every man came with a list of improvements a new wife would have to make." What do you think of this statement?
Created: 10/13/22
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I was kind of horrified by the sentiment, especially since Irma seemed to have some common sense. I think it was common to feel that way then, though, and that it's still common now (even if it's not a conscious thought).
I once heard it said that most marriages fail because a woman thinks her husband will change, while men think their wives never will.
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I’m reminded of the Jack Lemmon movie “How to Murder Your Wife,” which echoed the idea that the unmarried man is incomplete without a wife to perfect him into appropriately accepting the responsibilities of a household. The idea is ridiculous, of course, but there was a time when this view was popular and even accepted by (at least some) women and men as a means of assigning specific roles to each. In Irma’s life, women had limited rights with very little autonomy, so her attitude helped her feel a little superior even with her inferior status.
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The book continued to remind me of “The Handmaid’s Tale”. The Nazis were calculating, systematic and heartless in every way with the goal of making a perfect society,grooming women and children to become this ideal Nazi citizen. It is hard to believe this actually happened, which makes it even more frightening.
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This sentiment was a common enough one back in the 1930s and 1940s. I doubt that it plays well now. Irma did not get the chance to "improve" her fiancé because she misjudged the scene with him and misread his intentions. She felt considerable regret when she realized Eduard was not the man she thought he was. Since she was older,
I was actually surprised at this comment from her.
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I think many years ago women entered marriage thinking they could change their husbands, correct any faults they found. And maybe there are women today who still think that. When Irma said this, in the beginning of the book, her character was very controlling, opinionated and definitely not a compassionate person who could understand other peoples’s suffering. Over the course of the book, though, she became more aware of the wrongs being done, and really tried to help the girls in the home.
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We see this frequently in literature. When I read the question, I first thought of the opening to Pride and Prejudice. I took that line and this as representative of the time and place in which respective tales are written. I would be lying if I thought for one minute that either my wife or I entered our marriage believing that we would need to make "improvements"on the other.
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