Sally is both extremely confident and extremely insecure. How do you think these facts can both be true?

Sally is both extremely confident and extremely insecure. How do you think these facts can both be true?

Sally is extremely confident in her talent as a writer and her ability to be funny and to be a friend. She is insecure in herself as a dating partner. These feelings are not incompatible in the least.

I can’t help but think that much of Sally’s insecurity with dating comes from her past relationship with her own husband. As she described it to Noah in her emails, it just seemed to fall into place without all of the hard work that often goes in to relationships. I saw-“oh, I’m in college, it makes sense to have a serious relationship.” “Oh, I’m graduating, it is time to get married.” The relationship was more of a checklist and then somewhat scripted. I think the way Noah approached the relationship with Sally was different than anything she ever experienced. Right away, he was very interested in her job and how it all worked, he valued her input, and respected her knowledge and intelligence about writing. He asked her opinions. Her first husband never really seemed to value her talent, and the expectation in that relationship was that she would support his dreams and goals, not the other way around. In some ways, Sally’s relationship with Noah was her very first truly grown up relationship. I think her actions and reactions were typical of a person experiencing that.

It’s true for most of us. Most people are confident where their talents lie and unconfident or would prefer to delegate in areas where they struggle.

I echo the sentiments above - you can feel extremely confident in your career and the things that you are really good at, but interpersonal relationships and navigating dating is a whole different skill-set and Sally was not confident in that arena.

Sally knows her capabilities as a writer because she has received awards and has been successful. Her insecurities probably come from her divorce and therefore affects her relationships. She’s ok have a few one nighters but she can’t see her way past that. She is definitely insecure in her outward beauty but more confident in her ability as a writer. And yes, as humans we definitely can be a cross between insecurity and confidence

And I agree, she was definitely confident in her career and very insecure in her relationships. She was very guarded and it drove me crazy, I just wanted to tell her to go for it girl! I know and understand why but it still made me want to scream!

Strange question--many people are extremely confident in some circumstances and extremely self-conscious and insecure in others

I relate to Sally's confidence in particular areas of life and insecurity in others. I don't find that unusual at all. I think most people master specific skill sets and function effectively & confidently in those areas of life, while lacking the same level of proficiency and security in other areas. My profession required me to be a competent writer and have the ability to argue cases in court competently & confidently. A fear of public speaking does not serve a trial attorney well! Yet there are other aspects of life about which I do not have the same confidence and/or about which I have received criticism in the past which has impacted my sense of proficiency and belief that I will do well when I attempt certain things.

Every person is multi-faceted and full of contradictions.

Ironically, many people in the arts are like Sally. Many performers are quite shy and introverted off-stage. A lot of comedians are awkward around people, and not at all quick-witted or clever. Many have suffered from anxiety and depression, which audiences find shocking because they forget that comedy, like other forms of expression, is usually scripted and rehearsed.

Sally doesn’t see herself as the type of woman men are attracted to. But she’s confident in her career choice and her ability to make people laugh. We are talking about two totally different things. Looks are surface - she knows her strengths in other areas and doesn’t question that