Gerald explains he felt increasingly invisible and inconsequential after retirement. Do you sympathize with him? At one point, Ellie says she’s damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. Did you relate to her feelings?

Many marriages change after retirement. Gerald explains how after his retirement he felt increasingly invisible and inconsequential in the face of Ellie’s continued success. Do you sympathize with him? At one point, Ellie says she’s damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. Did you relate to her feelings?

I can see how Gerald can feel invisible in his marriage to Ellie, and I do sympathize with him. Ellie has a lot of talents, and Gerald got hurt on the job and is unable to continue working. Now he doesn't know what to do with himself. With all the kids gone and now just the two of them alone, they are struggling to relate to each other.

I was very mad at Gerald and I think the fact that he hid the iPad made the situation so much worse. I related to Ellie that it was such a betrayal.

I will add that Gerald's way of correcting his huge mistake was correct. Made me hope Ellie would forgive and try to work it out.

Marriages can change after retirement especially if forced to do so but Gerald's conduct was not called for because Ellie was willing to support him adjust to retirement. But he realized his error and did correct his mistake.

Gerald didn't tell Ellie the seriousness of his back issue - that he couldn't physically do the chores she wanted done. He didn't intentionally retire, he was forced into it and he felt like he lost meaning. Then Camille came into the picture and he felt alive again. He did stop short of furthering the affair.

On the other hand, Ellie was blindsided by finding out about Camille. He'd lied to her and he disrespected her in texts to Camille. I can see why she would need time to trust him again.

While I can appreciate the perspectives of both spouses in this relationship, I empathize more with Ellie. Gerald’s feelings, albeit understandable, do not excuse his behavior. He is an adult and he acted like an immature teenager. Yes, he may have put an end to the relationship but no gold star for him - it should have never started. Ellie’s reaction was totally justified and she was in a “no win” situation.

I can see why Gerald felt that way, but his method of dealing with it was so inappropriate. I felt for Ellie who was damned either way. Either she worked hard and was branded as cold or she let the family down. There were no right answers for her according to the texts on the iPad.

I think people can lose their identity and sense of worth and usefulness when they retire, but that doesn’t excuse what he did. I agree with Scribbling Scribe about Ellie.

I think that retirement is what you make of it. Some people do nothing and wonder why they're not happy. Other people embrace these years -- they volunteer, travel and enjoy life. Even though Gerald had a health issue -- he could have spent his retirement time doing something positive with his life

Gerald made the wrong choice on how to handle his retirement by his correspondence with Camille. I feel he was wrong and I don't blame Ellie for her reaction to it.

As we age, society does tend to see us as irrelevant. It takes maturity and self-awareness to navigate those feeling of isolation and that our best days may be behind us. And Ellie's feelings are often present in long marriages. Both of these could have been handles with better communication and working together to set reasonable expectations and boundaries.

I can understand how they both feel. I'm still working and my husband retired a year ago. He's having a tough time (not having an affair) but feeling invisible.