How does the death of Respectful Lady shape Yunxian? What lessons from her does Yunxian carry with her? When she nears her end, she mutters: “To live is to suffer.” How is this a warning for Yunxian?

How does the death of Respectful Lady shape Yunxian? What lessons from Respectful Lady does Yunxian carry with her? When Respectful Lady is near her end, she mutters: “To live is to suffer.” How is this a warning for Yunxian early in the novel?

At 8 years old Yunxian is thrust into a new, medical environment where she learns her eventual profession, but more importantly her relationship with Lady Chen and her grandmother teach her the “world view” she has in her curtailed world. I think seeing (and smelling) her mother’s damaged limbs made her aware of the constant care of her feet, and the phrase”to live is to suffer” must have come to mind often with her mother-in-law!

I agree with gwenc. Yunxian carried the cause of her mother’s death with her throughout her life. The importance of foot care, the ignorance and dismissiveness of the male doctor, the complete inability of him to even diagnose or treat her effectively because he couldn’t see or touch her mother. I think that warning carried throughout the book in Yunxian’s own life in the family and in her medical practice as well.

Women were only valued for beauty and bearing sons. Beauty came at a cost - bound feet that inhibited normal walking, causing falls, and, in the case of Respectful Lady, causing painful death from infection.

Even if the woman was the wife, if she did not bear a son, (or even if she did), she had to then endure her husband turning to concubines.

Yes, Yunxian learned medicine and, finally, was able to treat other women, but her life was not an easy one and included suffering.

I agree with Lyris, perfectly said. The word suffer, suffering, etc. was stated several times throughout the book. I think the women felt they were always one step from falling and not just because of their bound feet but because they had to endure so much worry and uncertainty. For Yunxian to learn this from her mother early on maybe helped her to cope with the ups and downs a little better.

I can’t imagine the pain and suffering women in that culture had to endure. If the roles had been reversed I wonder how long it would have taken the men to change the expectations.

It is never easy for a child to have a parent die, but to know that it was because she did not take care of her feet, left an impression. What a brutal job that was forced on the mother to do for her daughter. It was clear that there was suffering and enduring in the life of a woman both physically and being second to others.

I also agree with gwenc Yunxian"s life was shaped by the poor medical practices provided to women by doctors because cultural restrictions. Also, cultural norms for women like foot-binding without needed medical care also was influence again because of Respectful Lady's death.

The death of Respectful Lady and the cause helped cement Yunxian’s resolve in her career. She saw what poor medical care could do and she wanted better for those in her care.

She should have said..to live as a woman is to suffer. The death of Respectful Lady was painful for Yun. Given her age at the time, I’m not sure she fully grasped what had happened. It was only later, that the full story was revealed to her. Her death shed light not only on the ramifications of foot binding, but on the emotional impacts of a woman living in an extreme patriarchal system.

Seeing Respectful Lady die when Yunxian was so young had to have an impact on her. To see the suffering that Respectful Lady endured perhaps led to her try to improve medical care for women.

Losing her mother so young, Yunxian seemed to build a pedastal for Respectful Lady that exceeded the reality. She learned from her mother the necessity in their culture for foot binding and memorizing the rules of life, but compassion and strength she learned from her grandmother. As an adult, Yunxian began to see her mother through the eyes of an observer rather than a child and seemed to gain perspective into her own emotional tendencies in order to overcome them and not be self-destructive.

Respectful Lady's comment "To live is to suffer" was an omen for what to expect in life. What a depressing outlook on life! I think this statement caused Yunxian to suffer quietly in many ways - male dominance, culture at the time that kept females "out of sight, out of mind". If your mother says life is going to be bad then that is the expectation so bound, painful feet, depression/illnesses are normal parts of life.

However, Yunxian's "thinking, rather worldly" grandmother is a lifesaver. She helps her granddaughter realize self-worth and joy in helping others with their health problems. Hey, Yunxian even ended up recording some of her successful remedies.

My thoughts on Respectful Lady changed by the end of the book. I had huge sympathy for her in the beginning, but Yunxian's grandmother's thoughts near the end caused some doubts. Her theory that Respectful Lady stopped taking care of her feet for mental health reasons. It was awful that the male doctor didn't treat her properly. I think she did love her children, but was perhaps extremely depressed.

These events certainly shaped Yunxian and led her to learn medicine from her grandparents.

I think her mother's death affected Xunxian in two important aspects of her life. First, it led her in the direction of medicine and learning to prevent some of the physical suffering she saw. And I think it led her to see the mental suffering caused by the culture itself and to grow beyond the restrictions and parameters it imposed.