How do Yunxian and Meiling each benefit from their relationship? Are there downsides for each of them? What does friendship mean to you?

Lisa often writes about friendship: Snow Flower and Lily in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, Youngsook and Mija in The Island of Sea Women, and now Yunxian and Meiling in Lady Tan’s Circle of Women. These two girls shouldn’t have contact with each other, let alone have a relationship formalized and sanctioned by Grandmother Ru and Midwife Shi. How do Yunxian and Meiling each benefit from the relationship? Are there downsides for each of them? Talk about what friendship means to you.

At the heart of this theme is the bond between Yunxian and Meiling, whose friendship transcends social class and status. Despite their disparate backgrounds, the two women forge a deep connection built on mutual respect, trust, and support. Meiling serves as Yunxian's confidante and ally, offering solace and encouragement during moments of hardship and uncertainty. Yunxian mutually provides support and friendship to Melling so she can succeed within societal restrictions Their friendship becomes a source of empowerment, enabling both women to navigate the complexities of their roles and assert agency within a patriarchal society that seeks to confine and control them. This friendship is one of several between the women characters in the book that illustrate the need for friendship live in a restrictive society or with solidarity to transform it. Friendship for me provides support when needed to make important decisions , reflect on mutual memories or just have fun.

Carriem, you have given the perfect response to this question. I 100% agree with everything you just said!

Carriem you have said it all. Nothing more to add on this subject.

I was impressed by Yunxian's grandmother brokering the friendship between the two girls - knowing that Yunxian would need a friend who could intellectually keep up with her in their restrictive household. The girls had their ups and downs, and it was sad to finally hears Meiling's envy, even though it was understandable. I felt Yunxian's privileged attitude did at times appear at Meiling's expense, she did seem to mature and overcome some of those tendencies. As with Poppy, I would have loved to have head more from Meiling on how she felt internally on these issues.

Carriem speaks such wisdom about this relationship, so I totally agree. Finding other women in our lives who support and grace us with their presence is a major theme of the novel. That doesn't mean that we are always in sync; it does mean that we always hold each other in careful hands, providing trust, love, and empathy.

Friendship is powerful, it can cross all sorts of boundaries of race, culture, gender, class and wealth. If treated with care, a friendship can last a lifetime and be the essential source of guidance and support. I personally feel that without my friends, I would not have been able to get through certain terrible situations. I feel that Lisa See was so clever in having these two girls become friends that can help each other.

Yes, carriem! You hit the nail on the head here.

This author does a great job with female friendship. That really struck me after reading Snow Flower and the Secret Fan and again with this book.