In a novel primarily about women, were you sympathetic to any of the male characters? Do you believe they treated the women in their lives fairly?

In a novel primarily about women, were you sympathetic to any of the male characters? Do you believe they treated the women in their lives fairly?

I found it difficult to be sympathetic with most of the male characters due to how disrespectful they are to the women. I can think of three of the males that I would consider having some sympathy for and that would be Yunxian’s grandfather, as he was open to his wife and Yunxian learning and providing medical care to women. Also, Yunxian’s brother, Yifeng, got along well with Yunxian and treated her well. Lastly, Meiling’s husband seemed to be very loving and caring towards his wife.

I did not care for any of the men other than Yunxians grandfather. But then they were a product of their culture where essentially women were kept separate and treated as property

While this probably won’t be a popular choice, I believe Lady Tan’s father came through for her in the end. He came when she needed him to reinvestigate the crimes she discovered. The advice he gave her in the Hermitage was also thoughtful.

It doesn’t forgive him for abandoning her as a child, and at her wedding, but her life would not have turned out as it did if she was not raised by her grandparents.

As others have mentioned Yunxian’s grandfather was the most supportive of women. I do agree Yunxian’s father did apologize to her in the end and did come when she needed him AND he took steps to try to protect her. That being said, the entire culture revolves around treating women as breeders and disfiguring them for no reason other than a man’s pleasure. I found so much of it repugnant.

Yunxian’s grandfather was the most supportive of her and her grandmother especially fin their pursuit of learning about and providing medical care to women. Also, as others have said her father came through at the end. But one must remember this was the culture of the society during this time period.

I agree with many of the answers that Yunxian’s grandfather was the most supportive of her and her grandmother in their pursuit of helping women. Her father was helpful in the end. Meiling’s husband was very supportive and such kindness was most unusual in China during this time period. In general women were only around for the pleasure of men and to bear children.

Grandfather was an endearing figure who played an important role in the novel, and in Yun’s life. Her husband and father were useless.

Fair is a social concept. The way of life of dismissive husbands being the center of the family and concubines accepted in the household as a way of life was, I have to say, a disturbing part of the book. It seemed Meiling's husband might have been better than the rest, and yet she was afraid of his reaction - so I felt we never really knew him. I found all the men represented in the book to be selfish and self-absorbed.

I think the novel was as much about patriarchy as it was about women. I was not sympathetic to any of the male characters. Besides grandfather, I didn’t feel that any were sympathetic to the woman in their lives.

I have to concur with most of the other commenters-none of the male characters evoked much sympathy from this female reader. Fetishizing bound feet, and not considering the disability and limitations that act caused for a woman the rest of her life, does not endear me to this hyper patriarchal culture.

As my fellow readers have already mentioned, the male characters in Yunxian's life ---aside from her grandfather and brother who truly love her---did nothing to make her life easier to navigate. Yunxian's grandfather and Yifeng love her, oddly enough, for her intelligence and independence, qualities that don't bode well for women in such a patriarchal society. Perhaps the influence of Grandmother Ru and Miss Zhao on their men convinced them to see females as women and not chattel.

The only male I could respect and actually like was Yunxian's grandfather. He was willing to listen to grandmother's views. He is willing to change his views based on grandmother's evidence. He appeared kind in many ways. For example, he came to Yunxian's rescue when her husband's family was mistreating her. He told them how they were to let Yunxian visit her grandmother. He provided a bribe in insure they would treat Yunxian better.
The other male figures were guided by culture and treated women as possessions. Women were for pleasure and providing babies. Dr. Wong went beyond this and did horrible things in terms of greed - killing, etc.

This was a time and culture that valued men, so I found it difficult to like the male characters. I do think that if Lisa See had given the male characters a more empathetic view toward women, it would not have been accurate for this time period. However, Yunxian's grandfather's was kind, valued his wife and granddaughter, and worked within the system to assist the women he loved. He was my favorite male character.

This is a deeper question for me. We didn't get much insight into the male characters, but I think they were accurately portrayed for the time. I agree with other readers that her grandfather and father were the only ones that I could sympathize with. And Meiling's husband, but again, these characters were not the primary drivers of the story. It is easy to despise Dr. Wong.

I understand that this was what was expected and appropriate for their times, but it made me want to throw the book across the room many, many times. The was so disturbed by the constant pandering and deference to men and boys. Many in the book were decent men, but I am so grateful to live in modern times where women have an equal voice. (Most of the time, at least) I hated the fact that daughters were relegated to nothing more than bound feet, embroidery and being good wives.

I find it interesting that none of the responses link the reality of women's lives portrayed in this book with the reality that women today are still fighting for their rights all across the globe. The Patriarchy still exists. The culture described by Lisa See was changing...very, very slowly. The men reflected the rules of the existing culture. Some were sympathetic, dynamic characters and others were controlling, static characters. Sound familiar?