Two of the girls in the story were raised by someone other than their real mothers. Do you think either would have been happier being raised by their birth mothers?

Two of the girls in the story were raised by someone other than their real mothers (“They had both been given the very best upbringing, adored in every way, and yet it was not the upbringing they should have had. Would they have been happier with their real mothers?” p. 358). Do you think they would have been happier?

There are too many variables to write an answer. Would the girls bond better? Would the moms feel tied down? Who could provide better economic and emotional support? what might be the relationship with siblings, classmates, etc. in each home?

I can only relate a story about my friend who adopted a daughter. Daughter always knew she was adopted, but had no contact. The birth grandmother wanted to see her granddaughter before she passed. Arrangements were made. Adopted child was angry, frustrated, sullen during trip to see grandmother. After the visit, the child thanked her adopted mother for giving her advantages she would never have had. birth parents have had no other contact. My friend also adopted a son. He located his birth parents because medical genetic information was needed. Through his contact he has found brothers and sisters who have become very close. Birth father denies all children.
Message--each case is different and at best only generalizations can be made.

Jenny/Rosie seemed very happy in both homes. I don't feel her adoptive Mother tried too hard to find her real parents. The story they were killed in a bombing in London was weak while could be plausible. Lucy was quite happy with her adoptive family and was lured back to her real Mother, causing her incredible confusion, deprivation and almost her life. All of that being said, no one has the right to steal someone else's child.

For Jenny yes, but for Liz I'm not sure she would have been better off. But I think she should have been told the truth once she discovered the grave.

In the two cases it’s impossible for me to say. Both birth mothers truly grieved the loss and both girls seemed reasonably happy with their situations. (Another case is made in the movie Gone Baby Gone.) My honest belief is that true deep love of a child is the most important thing a parent can provide, regardless of any other condition.

Boy, this is a question that will never have an answer. I felt so much pain for Jenny's actual parents over the shocking & unexplained loss of their child. It was clear during the mom's interview with Liz, that she was still grieving her first born despite the intervening years & having had subsequent children. Although Jenny was loved by the woman who raised her and genuinely loved her back, I feel that she would have been better off in the long run to have been reunited with her actual parents immediately (despite the discrepancy in the finances of the two families). I was so grateful that they would have time to become a family once again. In Liz's case, she was never actually allowed the opportunity to truly know her biological mom. While she most likely had a better education & financial security with her adoptive parents, her isolation & overprotectiveness by her adoptive mother's change in personality & habits after Alice's death, did not provide the most nurturing environment for Liz as she grew up. In Lucy's case, she had always been raised by Susan from birth--with lots of love & privilege--and knew no other mother. Susan's taking her away was no more honorable than Aunt Emily's abduction of Jenny, but at least for Lucy, it possibly saved her life.

I don't think in Jenny's case she had an unhappy or unhealthy upbringing. She was well-adjusted, so who can say that she would have been happier with her parents?

As for Liz, again, not enough is known about Alice to answer that question. Her parents were both very flawed people. She remarks near the end of the book that they could both be "devious and unscrupulous" but if her father is to be believed, Alice was a young, flirtatious and apparently somewhat irresponsible woman. Who was Liz's real father? Would he have been a good parent if he'd known she existed? And Alice was apparently a loving caregiving, so she might have matured and been able to provide for Liz.