What could King or Junior’s siblings have done to help him define his identity as he was growing up? Do you sometimes feel like a different person on the inside than you are on the outside?

Junior's inner man and outer man are constantly battling each other. Could King or Junior’s siblings have done anything to help him as he was growing up? Do you sometimes feel like a different person on the inside than you are on the outside?

I think just acknowledging it would have been a great help. He believed he had to hide it - which then caused him to marry Genesis which he probably wouldn't have done had he had some support.

Junior never acknowledged his inner man until after he was grown although there were certainly indications before that. I don't know that his siblings could have helped him since they did not know what he was struggling with. I think we are different people sometimes with different audiences.

I think the way parents talk about and/or don't acknowledge different lifestyles influences how siblings will react to each other.

When I was in high school in the early sixties there was a very popular and likable boy that everyone whispered about him being "funny". At our 40th reunion, he spoke and at the end he said " And by way, for those of you who used to wonder if I was gay, you were right!" We all had a good laugh.

Conversation would have helped all the siblings come to terms with their family dynamics. It does not seem they ever did much talking when they were children, except for CeCe and Tokey who had a contentious relationship. Harris does an excellent job in weaving in the love they all have for each other but are unable to express.

I don't recall anything in the book about Junior 'coming out' until adulthood. We don't know whether that's because he didn't know or because he didn't think he'd be accepted. I don't think there is anything family or anyone else could have done to help him define his sexuality - that is something each person has to do for themselves. Once he had done that, family could have supported and affirmed him, which in fact they did.

I feel that since Junior felt that he had to keep the fact that he was gay to himself made it impossible to know if his family would have been supportive or not. He was raised to feel that he had to be a “real man” so in his mind that made it impossible to admit that a gay man could be a “real man”.

I think that often my inner and outer selves are often at odds but not to the extent that Junior’s were.

Make him feel like he was part of the family and love him for who he is, however looking at the time and even today, it is hard for a person to come out.

In the time the book takes place people were not open like they are today. Perhaps he didn’t even know what his feelings meant.

Since Junior had not confided in his siblings, there was really not anything they could have done to help him. I agree with scgirl that we are different people to different audiences. I do believe that no one really ever knows the real us, the full us, we may not even fully know ourselves! I think as we mature/age we come closer and closer to living our true selves in front of others.

Until Junior acknowledged and accepted himself, no one else could help him or make him feel accepted. Hiding a secret will always put a barrier around you, one that you have to always keep up and therefore you cannot relax and be your true self. People sense that and cannot get close.