What readers think of If I Am Missing or Dead, plus links to write your own review.

I think the book is excellent, the book is about the family dynamics that lead to the victimization of both women. The sexualization of very young women by their father was a precursor to the domestic abuse both women suffered.
My deep condolences for the loss of your sister Janine, and thank you for writing this exceptional memoir.

I thought the book would be about her sister that is murdered. She mainly talks about herself and her appearance. It was frustrating to read about her blaming her husband for her breast augmentation and for making wearing a thong at the beach. She could have left at any time. She did not have children and loved the lifestyle of being married to someone with money.

The more I read this book, the more I realized that it was primarily a memoir of Janine’s life. There was more about Amy at the end of the memoir, but hardly through most of the book.

While the book was interesting to read and I found myself relating to the authors relationship experiences I purchased this book based on the slip cover and the description of the book. Assuming it would talk about a relationship between sisters and the sisters story. This book went more than 250 pages of talking 95 about the authors life, relationships and experiences before the crime was even mentioned and any light was shed on to the events of Amy's untimely death. The shortest chapters in the book were when it finally brought up Amy being missing and found dead. I would estimate a max of 25 pages of the almost 300 pages had anything to do with or talked about Amy. I did like hearing Janine's story of her life this books cove and description on the sleeve were VERY misleading as to what the book would actually be about.

I thought I was going to read about Amy, not Janine Latus. I was frustrated that never happened until the last few pages. While I loved the author's writing style, at times I found the book overwhelmingly narcisstic since the focus was all about Janine's appeareance and her sex life with her husband, Curt. There was never much insight as to Janine's complicity in her own marriage.

I was in an abusive marriage for almost 20 years. I played the role of martyr just as Janine presents herself in the book. Someone should have educated me way back in first grade that if I acted like a doormat, I would be treated like one. If we are going to stop domestic violence, we must educate women about themselves as well as the abusive men in their lives.

As a high school teacher, my most recent message to the girls I taught was that there should never be a second time when a man hits you because you left after the first time. More importantly I explain to the girls that if they are flattered by a man's jealousy or temper, than the problem is with them as much as the male. I also explain that a need some women have to be a victim and proclaim their innocence is as destructive as the violence. Four women a day die of domestic violence in the US. We must teach our daughters the pitfalls of their own distorted thinking in relationships or it won't stop. This novel came off as blame the father, blame the husband. They deserved blame, but I found little depth since the mother, siblings, friends, and coworkers were all but invisibbe. The author seemed forever stuck in a world of buying bathing suits. It was a very superficial look at domestic abuse.