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Summary and Reviews of If I Am Missing or Dead by Janine Latus

If I Am Missing or Dead by Janine Latus

If I Am Missing or Dead

A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation

by Janine Latus
  • BookBrowse Review:
  • Critics' Consensus (4):
  • Readers' Rating (5):
  • First Published:
  • Apr 17, 2007, 320 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Apr 2008, 336 pages
  • Rate this book

About This Book

Book Summary

In April 2002, Janine Latus's youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved, it read, but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...

That same spring Janine Latus was struggling to leave her marriage -- a marriage to a handsome and successful man. A marriage others emulated. A marriage in which she felt she could do nothing right and everything wrong. A marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate, and trapped.

Ten weeks later, Janine Latus had left her marriage. She was on a business trip to the East Coast, savoring her freedom, attending a work conference, when she received a call from her sister Jane asking if she'd heard from Amy. Immediately, Janine's blood ran cold. Amy was missing.

Helicopters went up and search dogs went out. Coworkers and neighbors and family members plastered missing posters with Amy's picture across the county. It took more than two weeks to find Amy's body, wrapped in a tarpaulin and buried at a building site. It took nearly two years before her killer, her former boyfriend Ron Ball, was sentenced for her murder.

Amy died in silent fear and pain. Haunted by this, Janine Latus turned her journalistic eye inward. How, she wondered, did two seemingly well-adjusted, successful women end up in strings of physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men? If I Am Missing or Dead is a heart-wrenching journey of discovery as Janine Latus traces the roots of her own -- and her sister's -- victimization with unflinching candor. This beautifully written memoir will move readers from the first to the last page. At once a confession, a call to break the cycle of abuse, and a deeply felt love letter to her baby sister, Amy Lynne Latus, If I Am Missing or Dead is an unforgettable read.

Chapter One

Amy is born a fighter, six weeks early and a wispy five pounds. Her blood is incompatible with Mom's, so the doctors replace it, draining out the old while infusing the new. Her heart stops anyway. So they pump her tiny baby chest and blow air into her tiny baby lungs until she squalls, and then send her home to round out our family of seven.

The year is 1965, and it is my parents' third go-round with babies and death. The first had come in 1960, when I woke my mother before dawn, crying for a bottle. At four months and four days old, I was a blue-eyed Gerber baby, the spitting image of my father. Across the room slept my exact replica, my twin sister, Janette. A few weeks earlier our picture had made the front page of the local paper when a smiling mayoral candidate held us up for the cameras. He later complained about the fuzz our blanket left on his black suit coat.

My mother put her hand on Janette's back to feel her breathing. Then she yelled for Dad...

Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
Introduction

In a memoir that is by turns harrowing and humorous, Janine Latus recounts both her own and her sister Amy's dealings with men, beginning with their father. From the traumatic childbirth experiences of their mother to the daily reminders from their father that their looks are what matter most, both Janine and Amy take away from their childhood's a sense that, as young women, they are unworthy, even sinful, by nature. In spite of their strength, intelligence, and strong bond with each other, both Janine and Amy find themselves trapped in relationships with abusive and controlling men. Fortunately, Janine is able to escape this cycle. Amy, however, does not.

If I Am Missing or Dead explores issues faced by ...
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Reviews

BookBrowse Review

BookBrowse

Even if you feel you've read your fill of memoirs about domestic violence, take a look at If I Am Missing or Dead, which stands out from the crowd for a number of factors, not least being the quality of its writing...continued

Full Review (605 words)

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(Reviewed by BookBrowse Review Team).

Media Reviews

People magazine
Unfolds like a gripping novel...gorgeous prose...[Janine's] bravery...shines in her struggle to rediscover her own self worth.

Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Unforgettable, unsentimental and profoundly affecting, Latus's book resonates long after the final page is turned.

Kirkus Reviews
Latus writes here to save the lives of women like her sister and herself, so desperate for love that they'll pay any price for it. An honest, unsparing look at the deadly erosion of self-worth.

Author Blurb Betsy Lerner, author of Food and Loathing
Janine Latus' memoir of domestic abuse depicts two life journeys: Janine's own escape from a violent boyfriend and her sister's tragic death at the hands of one. Both stories are powerful cautionary tales that shine a bright light into the darkness of domestic abuse. There are no heroes here -- just real people whose bravely told stories could save lives.

Author Blurb Julie Gregory, author of Sickened
From the first line I was captured and couldn't put the book down. In these pages is the echo of so many other stories I have known. You may have known Amy. You might have been Amy. I could have been Amy. For anyone trapped in the maddening internal banter that justifies another's sinister actions, read this book. You will walk taller from these pages. A story of heartbreak and liberation.

Reader Reviews

Sandi Kubert

Loved this book
I think the book is excellent, the book is about the family dynamics that lead to the victimization of both women. The sexualization of very young women by their father was a precursor to the domestic abuse both women suffered. My deep condolences...   Read More
Lori

If I am Missing or Dead
I thought the book would be about her sister that is murdered. She mainly talks about herself and her appearance. It was frustrating to read about her blaming her husband for her breast augmentation and for making wearing a thong at the beach. She ...   Read More
Justine Smith

Janine’s memoir
The more I read this book, the more I realized that it was primarily a memoir of Janine’s life. There was more about Amy at the end of the memoir, but hardly through most of the book.
Melissa Harman

Hardly about the sister
While the book was interesting to read and I found myself relating to the authors relationship experiences I purchased this book based on the slip cover and the description of the book. Assuming it would talk about a relationship between sisters and...   Read More

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Beyond the Book



If I Am Missing or Dead is Janine Latus's first book. She is a freelance writer, radio commentator, and regular speaker on domestic abuse issues. She has busked on the streets of Chicago to write about what it's like to sing for your supper. She has galloped the beaches of the Dominican Republic, eaten her way through Kansas City and danced herself into a frenzy, all to gather the kind of you-are-there details that make a story sing. She has coaxed women to tell her how much they weigh and why, and couples to ...

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