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A Series of Unfortunate Events #13
by Lemony SnicketThe last volume of the fabulously popular A Series of Unfortunate Events series, in which the history of the Baudelaire orphans is brought to its end.
You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you read the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.
This book is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.
It has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this book at once, so the end does not finish you.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Chapter One
If you have ever peeled an onion, then you know that the first thin,
papery layer reveals another thin, papery layer, and that layer reveals
another, and another, and before you know it you have hundreds of
layers all over the kitchen table and thousands of tears in your eyes,
sorry that you ever started peeling in the first place and wishing that
you had left the onion alone to wither away on the shelf of the pantry
while you went on with your life, even if that meant never again
enjoying the complicated and overwhelming taste of this strange and
bitter vegetable.
In this way, the story of the Baudelaire orphans is like an onion, and
if you insist on reading each and every thin, papery layer in A Series
of Unfortunate Events, your only reward will be 170 chapters of misery
in your library and countless tears in your eyes. Even if you have read
the first twelve volumes of the Baudelaires' story, it is not too late
to stop peeling away the layers, and...
Some early reviews for The End comment that the story ends rather suddenly without any real conclusion; don't be put off by these reviews which you may find published elsewhere, as they may well be based on reading an unfinished copy of the book. Wanting to give reviewers a chance to read the final volume but also wishing to maintain the suspense, the publisher sent advanced reading copies to reviewers but purposely did not include the last two chapters. Unfortunately, a few of the early reviewers did not pick up on this all important detail when writing their reviews!..continued
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