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The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
by Ethan Kross
Book Reviewed by:An award-winning psychologist reveals the hidden power of our inner voice and shows how we can harness it to live a healthier, more satisfying, and more productive life.
Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself, and you're likely to get written off as eccentric. But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head. When we talk to ourselves, we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead. When we're facing a tough task, our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus—you can do this. But, just as often, our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail. They'll all laugh at me. What's the use?
In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies—from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy—Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk—what he calls "chatter"—can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure.
But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor. These tools are often hidden in plain sight—in the words we use to think about ourselves, the technologies we embrace, the diaries we keep in our drawers, the conversations we have with our loved ones, and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces.
Brilliantly argued, expertly researched, and filled with compelling stories, Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves.
Chapter One
Why We Talk to Ourselves
The sidewalks of New York City are superhighways of anonymity. During the day, millions of intent pedestrians stride along the pavement, their faces like masks that betray nothing. The same expressions pervade the parallel world beneath the streets—the subway. People read, look at their phones, and stare off into the great invisible nowhere, their faces disconnected from whatever is going on in their minds.
Of course, the unreadable faces of eight million New Yorkers belie the teeming world on the other side of that blank wall they've learned to put up: a hidden "thoughtscape" of rich and active internal conversations, frequently awash with chatter. After all, the inhabitants of New York are nearly as famous for their neuroses as they are for their gruffness. (As a native, I say this with love.) Imagine, then, what we might learn if we could burrow past their masks to eavesdrop on their inner voices. As it happens, that is exactly what the ...
Using a combination of research, scientific grounding and personal experience, Kross writes about an academic subject in layman's terms while providing down-to-earth, honest advice. His presentation is easy to grasp but never condescending, and his thoughtful inclusion of anecdotes of his own and from others guards against making readers feel intellectually or emotionally intimidated. Kross defines "chatter" as "the cyclical negative thoughts and emotions that turn our singular capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing." The author assures us that there are ways to control this inner voice, and even ways we can use it to benefit us, stating, "the key to beating chatter isn't to stop talking to yourself. The challenge is to figure out how to do so more effectively."..continued
Full Review
(701 words)
(Reviewed by Nichole Brazelton).
Adam Grant, bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife
This book is going to fundamentally change some of the most important conversations in your life—the ones you have with yourself. Along with being a pioneering psychologist and neuroscientist, Ethan Kross is an unusually gifted writer and storyteller. He shows that instead of trying to silence your monkey mind, you can learn to educate it, motivate it, and even reason with it. Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit
Fresh and riveting, Chatter is a masterpiece—a landmark book that will change the way you think about human nature. Ethan Kross is one part sage, one part mensch, and one part world-class psychological scientist. When I need advice, it's Ethan I call. Now, through Chatter, everyone has a chance to learn about their inner voice from among the wisest people I know. Required reading for all. Susan Cain, bestselling author of Quiet
Ethan Kross isn't just a world-renowned scientist, he's an expert storyteller too. In Chatter, he shows why our inner voice is indispensable, and reveals how we can master it. Urgent, lucid, and compelling, Chatter is the groundbreaking and transformative book the world needs now.
Rick Ankiel was born in 1979 in Fort Pierce, Florida. At an early age, he threw himself into baseball as a way of escaping a tumultuous and often violent home life. In 1997, as a pitcher for Port St. Lucie High School, he was named "High School Player of the Year" by USA Today. By his major league baseball debut with the St. Louis Cardinals in 1999, he had racked up several pitching successes and respected titles in the minor leagues: He was named "best pitching prospect" in both the Carolina and Midwest Leagues; he was also the Carolina League's All-Star starting pitcher, Baseball America's first-team Minor League All-Star starting pitcher and the Cardinals' Minor League Player of the Year.
However, as is detailed in Chatter by ...
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