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Reflections on Infertility, Family, and Creating a Bountiful Life: A Memoir
by N. West MossIn her wise and witty memoir, N. West Moss discovers how she has been building a fruitful life and legacy - full of curiosity, creativity, and connection - while simultaneously dealing with infertility and illness. This beautifully written book offers insight, understanding, and joy.
"I drive and say to myself, if I am dying, if this is how I die, then this is how I die." When N. West Moss finds herself bleeding uncontrollably in the middle of a writing class, she drives herself to the hospital. Doctors are baffled, but eventually a diagnosis—hemangioma—is determined and a hysterectomy is scheduled. We follow Moss through her surgery, complications, and recovery as her thoughts turn to her previous struggles with infertility, to grief and healing, to what it means to leave a legacy.
Moss's wise, droll voice and limitless curiosity lift this beautiful memoir beyond any narrow focus. Among her interests: yellow fever, good cocktails, the history of New Orleans, and, always, the natural world, including the praying mantis in her sunroom whom she names Claude. And we learn about the inspiring women in Moss's family—her mother, her grandmother, and her great-grandmother—as she sorts out her feeling that this line will end with her. But Moss discovers that there are other ways besides having children to make a mark, and that grief is not a stopping place but a companion that travels along with us through everything, even happiness.
With public figures like Chrissy Teigen and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, speaking out about infertility recently, women are eager for voices that acknowledge their struggles. Fans of Lena Dunham, Leslie Jamison, and Jenny Lawson—along with readers of medical memoirs like When Breath Becomes Air and The Bright Hour—will find that connection in Moss's Flesh & Blood.
Chapter 39: Wheeling into Surgery
A hysterectomy is a common enough operation, but this is my first surgery, and I am attuned to every detail. While some women may experience this as routine, I am like an explorer in a foreign land, my newly acquired access both terrifying and fascinating.
The back of my bed is raised so that I am sitting almost upright as I'm wheeled from the little yellow, curtained "room" through a hallway, past a reception desk of some kind, and into the operating room. I've had to say goodbye to Craig and Mom. For a moment I'm bereft and afraid, and then I'm reminded, not unpleasantly, that we are all essentially alone, that every journey comes down to this moment, when only our eyes see what we experience, only we feel our hearts thumping, only we notice the green tile of the operating room and how enormous and bright the operating lights are. They look like bugs' eyes, with countless bulbs built to reflect the brightest light possible right up inside me, where ...
I had to have a hysterectomy years ago, three years before I married. Moss's journey, so honestly and poignantly shared, is unlike anything I've ever read before on the subject (Laura C). Moss has a wonderful, straightforward way of telling us her story, the trials and distress of her problem, and her successful recovery (Marion C). I have to admit, it took me a while to pick up this book...it is not my usual genre and I was afraid I could not relate or would be overwhelmed with sadness. Instead it felt as though I was on a weekend retreat with a friend I had lost touch with years before, where I could be encouraged and uplifted by her self-awareness, confidence and vulnerabilities as she leisurely told me of her experiences while we shared a cocktail (Barbara P)...continued
Full Review (628 words)
(Reviewed by First Impressions Reviewers).
In Flesh & Blood, author N. West Moss writes of her struggles with infertility, detailing her emotional reactions to miscarriages and an illness resulting in a hysterectomy. The feelings, experiences and circumstances surrounding an inability to conceive are multifaceted and varied, and so are the works of literature that have addressed it as a subject. Below are five books that deal with the personal fallout of infertility and its broader effects.
Brood by Jackie Polzin
Kirkus Reviews calls Flesh & Blood "similar in spirit" to Jackie Polzin's novel Brood, as both books are about women who grapple with their inability to have children while immersing themselves in the animal world: In Moss's case, a praying mantis and cats; ...
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