Sign up for our newsletters to receive our Best of 2024 ezine!

Summary and Reviews of Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

Back When We Were Grownups by Anne Tyler

Back When We Were Grownups

by Anne Tyler
  • Critics' Consensus (3):
  • Readers' Rating (8):
  • First Published:
  • May 1, 2001, 256 pages
  • Paperback:
  • Apr 2002, 304 pages
  • Rate this book

About This Book

Book Summary

Rebecca, a fifty-three-year-old grandmother, is caught unawares by the question of who she really is. How she answers it--how she tries to recover her girlhood self, that dignified grownup she had once been--is the story told in this beguiling, funny, and deeply moving novel.

"Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered that she had turned into the wrong person." So Anne Tyler opens this irresistible new novel.

The woman is Rebecca Davitch, a fifty-three-year-old grandmother. Is she an impostor in her own life? she asks herself. Is it indeed her own life? Or is it someone else’s?

On the surface, Beck, as she is known to the Davitch clan, is outgoing, joyous, a natural celebrator. Giving parties is, after all, her vocation--something she slipped into even before finishing college, when Joe Davitch spotted her at an engagement party in his family’s crumbling nineteenth-century Baltimore row house, where giving parties was the family business. What caught his fancy was that she seemed to be having such a wonderful time. Soon this large-spirited older man, a divorcé with three little girls, swept her into his orbit, and before she knew it she was embracing his extended family plus a child of their own, and hosting endless parties in the ornate, high-ceilinged rooms of The Open Arms.

Now, some thirty years later, after presiding over a disastrous family picnic, Rebecca is caught unawares by the question of who she really is. How she answers it--how she tries to recover her girlhood self, that dignified grownup she had once been--is the story told in this beguiling, funny, and deeply moving novel.

As always with Anne Tyler’s novels, once we enter her world it is hard to leave. But in Back When We Were Grownups she so sharpens our perceptions and awakens so many untapped feelings that we come away not only refreshed and delighted, but also infinitely wiser.

Chapter One

Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.

She was fifty-three years old by then--a grandmother. Wide and soft and dimpled, with two short wings of dry, fair hair flaring almost horizontally from a center part. Laugh lines at the corners of her eyes. A loose and colorful style of dress edging dangerously close to Bag Lady.

Give her credit: most people her age would say it was too late to make any changes. What's done is done, they would say. No use trying to alter things at this late date.

It did occur to Rebecca to say that. But she didn't.




On the day she made her discovery, she was picnicking on the North Fork River out in Baltimore County. It was a cool, sunny Sunday in early June of 1999, and her family had gathered to celebrate the engagement of Rebecca's youngest stepdaughter, NoNo Davitch.

The Davitches' cars circled the meadow like covered wagons braced for attack. Their ...

Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
  1. "How on earth did I get like this?" wonders Rebecca at the start of the novel about the person she has become. Have you ever had a moment like this? Did you end up with the life you thought you would have?

  2. While many people thing longingly of the road not traveled, Rebecca decides to take it. Is this a good idea? If you were going to do so, what steps would you have to take?

  3. Do you think that Rebecca would have stayed with Will if she had not met Joe?

  4. Rebecca suggests to NoNo that "all of us love people at least partly for their usefulness." Do you agree?

  5. Do you think Min Foo is going to discard Hakim as she has her other husbands?

  6. Rebecca reflects that marriage leads to "knowing more than you should about the ...
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Reviews

Media Reviews

Book - The Magazine for the Reading Life -- Beth Kephart
This is storytelling at its best and most breathtaking. Tyler, an acknowledged master of the form, is living up to her well-earned reputation.

Kirkus Reviews
Packed with life in all its humdrum complexity--and funny, so funny, the kind that compels reading aloud. A masterful effort from one of our very best.

Publishers Weekly
The ease of her storytelling here is breathtaking, but almost unnoticeable because, rather like Rebecca, Tyler never calls attention to what she does.

Reader Reviews

Once upon a time

This is a wonderful book!!! Like many of Anne Tylers books it is not a piece of literature that requires a happy ending. Instead it is very real and very true to what would be considered "the real world". Truelly beautiful writing. I found ...   Read More
Catherine

I loved this book. One of Anne Tyler's best. The reader is immediately swept into Rebecca's life in much the same way as Rebecca herself is suddenly encompassed by the Davitch family. I like a novel where you are involved. I felt connected to the ...   Read More
Jenna

Interesting
I enjoyed the book. I read it for a school project, and I am happy that I chose this book. Tyler made the story come to life. I felt that I was right there standing next to her throughout the whole book. I coudn't wait to find out what would ...   Read More
Anonymous

The first chapter I thought I would never remember who everyone was, there were too many characters all thrown in at once - but after that I like the book but did hope for a happy ending.

Write your own review!

Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Read-Alikes

Read-Alikes Full readalike results are for members only

If you liked Back When We Were Grownups, try these:

  • Our Souls at Night jacket

    Our Souls at Night

    by Kent Haruf

    Published 2016

    About this book

    More by this author

    A spare yet eloquent, bittersweet yet inspiring story of a man and a woman who, in advanced age, come together to wrestle with the events of their lives and their hopes for the imminent future.

  • Mimi Malloy, At Last! jacket

    Mimi Malloy, At Last!

    by Julia MacDonnell

    Published 2015

    About this book

    Mimi Malloy, At Last! is an unforgettable novel, alive with humor, unexpected romance, and the magic of hard-earned insight: a poignant reminder that it's never too late to fall in love and that one can always come of age a second time.

We have 11 read-alikes for Back When We Were Grownups, but non-members are limited to two results. To see the complete list of this book's read-alikes, you need to be a member.
More books by Anne Tyler
Search read-alikes
How we choose read-alikes
Membership Advantages
  • Reviews
  • "Beyond the Book" articles
  • Free books to read and review (US only)
  • Find books by time period, setting & theme
  • Read-alike suggestions by book and author
  • Book club discussions
  • and much more!
  • Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
  • More about membership!

Top Picks

  • Book Jacket: Small Rain
    Small Rain
    by Garth Greenwell
    At the beginning of Garth Greenwell's novel Small Rain, the protagonist, an unnamed poet in his ...
  • Book Jacket: Daughters of Shandong
    Daughters of Shandong
    by Eve J. Chung
    Daughters of Shandong is the debut novel of Eve J. Chung, a human rights lawyer living in New York. ...
  • Book Jacket: The Women
    The Women
    by Kristin Hannah
    Kristin Hannah's latest historical epic, The Women, is a story of how a war shaped a generation ...
  • Book Jacket: The Wide Wide Sea
    The Wide Wide Sea
    by Hampton Sides
    By 1775, 48-year-old Captain James Cook had completed two highly successful voyages of discovery and...

BookBrowse Book Club

Book Jacket
In Our Midst
by Nancy Jensen
In Our Midst follows a German immigrant family’s fight for freedom after their internment post–Pearl Harbor.
Who Said...

Be sincere, be brief, be seated

Click Here to find out who said this, as well as discovering other famous literary quotes!

Wordplay

Big Holiday Wordplay 2024

Enter Now